I was just thinking about something. It’s weird, because ever since September up until the beginning of February-ish, I had been feeling very…down. Not myself. Like I had all this weight sitting on my chest and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I literally would come home from school and cry everyday of the week. Constantly not feeling good enough. Not pretty enough. Too ugly. Hating myself. Horrible, horrible feelings about myself, that I’d never had before. I just wasn’t sure what to do about it, too. I kept a lot to myself, because I - I’m not one to talk about my feelings out loud. I’m not that kind of person. It’s funny, because I can write it out just fine, but speaking? No. I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to say it aloud. So whenever my friends tried to speak to me, I’d just - I’d close in on myself. Fine. I’m fine. You know, I’m fine is the biggest and most common lie. Not that I’ve done any research, but. I’d bet it’s true.

The last few weeks, I’ve felt - free. I think that’s the right word to describe it. That weight hasn’t been there. I don’t know where it’s gone, but I hope it never comes back. I’m afraid it will come back, though. I guess I’ll just have to wait. But for right now, life is okay. And I can deal with that.

  1. facingyourfailure posted this

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY